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Salve, Massimo..I finally decided to come here and after I read your words I was about tearing myself apart because I really believed you but those things I heard about you frustrated me thoroughly! I decided to give you a chance to revive my trust to you...Don't think I say this because I'm madly in love with you. You are just the first man that made me trust him and believe, I mean you did that, that's true...It's silly to refuse the obvious things but still I can't really talk to you until my trust is revived. It’s up to you Massimo, it was you who wanted me to come to this site so have you got something to tell me?
All these days I was visiting him, my dear, my secret and forbidden love. He is sick, he needs help, though rejects it. Seems to be very stubborn. These days he did not talk much. I also kept silence to the full extend understanding the situation I am in. My husband is his friend probably. I need to be as careful as it is only possible not to show that I have any emotions towards him.
Yesterday it was windy and cloudy outside. Plus really cold. We were sitting on his couch, looking through the huge window. He was covered with quilt, grasping with his slender hands a glass of hot tea with lemon. He was so close to me. I felt the warmth of his body through all these cloths. My feelings were tense and fingers trembling. We did not know what to talk about.
- You husband is a very good man, - said he unexpectedly, - don’t you think so?
It was a very strange question, frankly speaking. Plus mentioning my husband, as if remind me about his existance. Making me feel guilty for nothing. Yet. ...Why? - (by Brityan Mirage Williams)
Why is that when I fall in love I get hurt in return? I give them all my love but I get their asses to kiss. I think my problem is that I fall in love so fast I get the total opposite. Sometimes I just feel as though I don’t need to love again. So now that I don’t date anymore I don’t care about their feelings. So when I date someone they always say that I don’t care it's not that don’t care its that I don’t want to be hurt again. Now I live in this boundary where I don’t care if they say I love you I always say they are lying because no one ever told me they loved me expect mother other family members. I wish I could find a man that loves me for me and not hurt me because they can. I guess that why I am the way I am.
Salve, Dear! Susy, I'm really sorry for making you wait so long, I was really busy, you know I work hard. Thank you for you agreed to talk to me here via this site. This is now the only way. You should believe me how much I miss you and I' really want to make our relations and problems clear out. Do you remember our first meetings, and the following ones? Was there something suspicious or untrue?
Of course, NO! I know you trust me and I want only you. Those who told you some ravings about me, that I deal with some licentious women, sleep with them - non-sense! I trust you don't really believe them. Susy, darling, respond me, let's talk over everything. We shouldn't forget each other and lose the thing we got! Waiting for you, my Susy! Massimo, 6 December, 2005.
I remember his eyes. Grey bluish with pink reflections of neon advertisement across the street. He was standing by the window, watching outside. That is all. That is all… That is a dream I had several nights ago. And his face was so familiar to me! Though I was trying my best to recall him somewhere in my life, I could not. But today I saw him in reality. Or maybe, that was not a dream at all? Maybe now I think that his image was with me that night? Maybe I convinced myself in that?
You are doomed to experience shock if someone absolutely unfamiliar from your dreams is facing you unexpectedly. I cannot describe my feelings. They were happiness and grief at one time. Astonishment of course. It is hard to divide that mad mixture in my soul for separate names. I cannot.
I remember I touched his hand. His fingers were delicate and as cold as the air outside, gripping the end of his quilt. They absorbed my warmth, making me feel icy. Just as he probably felt himself. And one special feature in him – very sad, maybe even sorrowful eyes. Do you know winter or late autumn sky, which is just about to rain or snow? That is his eyes. I know no thing in the world to express him more precisely than this one.
- Thanks for coming, - he said quietly, - though there was no need. ...
About a year ago I finally met the love of my life. I never thought that this wonderful intense feeling would hit me so hard.
He was so wonderful and loving (there are so many words that can truly express the way that I feel about this wonderful guy). We met when I became a server at a Mexican restaurant that he worked at. I thought he was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. Everything about him was absolutely wonderful, especially his smile and the glow in his eyes every time he smiled. We became roommates at first then when we got to know each other we fell in love more and more everyday. We did wonderful things together, like vacations to Myrtle Beach, Ohio, Cedar Point, and we even met each others family. The best times that I ever had were with this wonderful person, even sitting at home was a great time for the two of us. Nothing ever makes the two of us bored as long as we have each other.
They really say that you'll know when you find the love of your life because you'll feel different about everything and you'll trust everything. Love is the one thing that a person waits for his whole life, one may even wait forever and it may seem like it will never happen, but it will when you least expect it, it will hit you hard. It's that greatest feeling ever.
I really feel like a different person and I fully owe it all to the one that I would love to spend the rest of my life with. And that one person is you Timothy William Rebold! ... -
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