my story

i was in 9th grade and so was he. i certantly wasnt looking for love. i wasnt even sure i knew what true love meant. well anyways... through his sister we got together. after 3 months of dating i told him i loved him and he said he felt the same...how naive i was. he had broke up with me countless amounts of times already and he would always come back and say "im sorry" and wed get back together the same day. i had believed we were perfect and i was silly enough to think we'd get married. on the last day of our 9th grade year i had reason to believe something was majorly wrong. at our class party he hung out with his friends and acted like i wasnt alive. so i asked him and he assured me that we had the whole summer together. lier. turned out he went to his dads for the summer. well on july 2 my friend had been staying the nite with me and we had planned to go to my bfs house for july 4th. so i called him and he said they were having a party and we could come. on july 3 i was so happy i was finally going to see him. however he was not. on july 4th i had trying to get ahold of him the whole day and around 7pm he finally called me back. turned out there was no party and he never asked his mom. he told me we needed to take a break. i knew that this was not just one of our short break ups but that it was final. when i went to stay the night at the friend who had stayed with me i asked her to call him for me. they talked for nearly an hour before i was 'allowed' to get on. when i did talk to him i found out that basically he never loved me and he needed to have a gf for the school year. well then my friend and him got together. i hated him and her. and i let them know. i felt betrayed and hurt. a year later i get a call. guess who. it was him. he invited me to his birthday party and i was up for it. he hardly spoke to ma the entire time and i felt so stupid for going. that nite he called me again with his friend. well later me and his friend dated on the phone.. but i just wanted revenge on my ex. eventually i started to fall for this guy.. but i had to end it soon cuz it would never go any farther than just talking on the phone. eventually i began to nearly crave love. how much lower could i get rite? well anyway i began to develope a new on look of love. and in my mind love registered heart break and misery. that how it would always turn out. so thats how i treated my new bf. he was a true man. one i trusted alot. also one i broke his heart. i wasnt in the relationship for looks cuz if i was i would have never dated this guy. anywho...he really loved me...so much... i dont think i can comprehend it. but i didnt want to ...love was only misery and heartbreak so it couldnt be this perfect... so i ended it as i thought it should be ended. when i finally stopped searching for love it fell right into my life. hes the one im with now. hes not perfect but hes mine. actually hes my 6th, 7th , and8th..maybe even 9th grade crush...and rival. he was so mean back then.lol.. but now hes the greatest guy ive met. and we have had our moments... actually i had my moments.. but i was too scared to love him so for a while i left him heartbroken..until i figured out that to be afraid of love is to be selfish.. and when i finally let myself love agian...everything fell rite back into place.. and now life is basically complete. and thats my lil story