Point of no return

I remember his eyes. Grey bluish with pink reflections of neon advertisement across the street. He was standing by the window, watching outside. That is all. That is all… That is a dream I had several nights ago. And his face was so familiar to me! Though I was trying my best to recall him somewhere in my life, I could not. But today I saw him in reality. Or maybe, that was not a dream at all? Maybe now I think that his image was with me that night? Maybe I convinced myself in that?

You are doomed to experience shock if someone absolutely unfamiliar from your dreams is facing you unexpectedly. I cannot describe my feelings. They were happiness and grief at one time. Astonishment of course. It is hard to divide that mad mixture in my soul for separate names. I cannot.

I remember I touched his hand. His fingers were delicate and as cold as the air outside, gripping the end of his quilt. They absorbed my warmth, making me feel icy. Just as he probably felt himself. And one special feature in him – very sad, maybe even sorrowful eyes. Do you know winter or late autumn sky, which is just about to rain or snow? That is his eyes. I know no thing in the world to express him more precisely than this one.

- Thanks for coming, - he said quietly, - though there was no need.

All his words. I did not dare to speak, my voice would tremble.

God, I feel that he is mine! I love him already, seeing him in reality for the first time! And now, sitting at home, typing this, I am with him, I cannot stop thinking of him. I am in his eyes. Though he is a stranger and I don’t even know his name. Though I am married. Though we cannot be together and loving him is a crime for me! I love him. And I know, the more I will be seeing him, the deeper this feeling be. This is the point of non return.